Advanced T-SQL Triage: I’m Running a Full-Day Pre-Con in Jacksonville
On Friday, May 1st, I’ll be in Jacksonville for Day of Data’s pre-con day, running an all-day session called Advanced T-SQL Triage: The Art of Fixing Terrible Code.
If you’ve ever inherited a stored procedure that looks like someone lost a bet with the optimizer — MERGE statements, RIGHT JOINs nobody can explain, CTEs stacked eight deep, scalar functions wrapping scalar functions — this one is for you.
All attendees get free access to Learn T-SQL With Erik.
What we’re doing all day
We’re not going to sit through slides about what a clustered index is. We’re going to look at queries that are actually broken and fix them. On the table:
– Paging logic that scans when it should seek
– Window functions that spool and spill because nobody gave them a sort to work with
– Indexed views that look clever on paper and lock everything in practice
– Data modifications that block like linebackers
– Dynamic SQL that’s parameterized, fast, and doesn’t make your DBA cry
– When CROSS APPLY is the right tool (and when you’re reaching for it because you don’t want to think)
– Views vs. inline TVFs vs. scalar UDFs, and why the optimizer treats them very differently
– Why RIGHT JOIN is not simply LEFT JOIN spelled backwards
– Rewriting scalar UDFs so they stop wrecking your execution plans
You’ll leave with a cheat sheet, a working mental model for diagnosing slow queries without guessing, and — if the day goes the way it usually does — a short list of queries at work you’re itching to go refactor on Monday morning.
Details
– When: Friday, May 1, 2026, all day
– Where: University of North Florida, Jacksonville, FL
– Register: Here
The free Day of Data event is the next day, Saturday May 2nd, same venue. Come for the pre-con, stay for the community event. The hotel discount at the Hilton Tru cuts off April 22, so if you need a room, don’t sit on it.
If your queries scare you, come fix them with me.
Going Further
If this is the kind of SQL Server stuff you love learning about, you’ll love my training. Blog readers get 25% off the Everything Bundle — over 100 hours of performance tuning content. Need hands-on help? I offer consulting engagements from targeted investigations to ongoing retainers. Want a quick sanity check before committing to a full engagement? Schedule a call — no commitment required.