On Twitter
(More unfortunate words were never spoken) I decided to offer a free three hour block of time to whomever named the cadre of under-performing queries we’re going to be looking at as part of my SQLBits precon.
For my @SQLBits precon, I have seven queries with very tricky problems.
They sniff, they spool, they defraud, they steal, they push, and generally run amok.
If you come up with a cunning name for this septet of villainy, you’ll win three free hours of consulting time with me.
— Erik Darling Data (@erikdarlingdata) January 31, 2019
This is fair. I have no idea how to use MARS.
Seven Deadly Spids
— Peter Shore (@pshore73) January 31, 2019
This might be too painful for anyone to endure.
Sharepoint
— Andy Mallon ? (@AMtwo) January 31, 2019
Said every front end dev everywhere
Seven reasons to be a front end dev
— James Anderson (@DatabaseAvenger) January 31, 2019
Well, I do have some ideas for SQL Server…
“The Spills Have Eyes”
— Joe Sack (@JoeSackMSFT) January 31, 2019
Rob kindly overestimates my ability to retain information.
Seven Sneaky SQL Server Samples, Showing Solicitous Solutions
— Rob Volk (@sql_r) January 31, 2019
Open To Everyone
If you’re not on Twitter, not following me, or just missed it in the sea of having better things to do, leave a comment with your idea.
I do occasionally like blog comments.
Thanks for reading!
Going Further
If this is the kind of SQL Server stuff you love learning about: these days I have AI do the annoying stuff for me. My new video course teaches you to work the same way, and I teach whole teams in a one-day workshop. Someone still has to know enough SQL Server to keep the robots in check, and that’s what my training is for.
The (Un)usual Suspects: Seven Sinister Queries
Seven Scary Queries to Read in the Dark
7 Self Defense Tactics for Query Bullies